Once upon a time there was a girl who was as bland as rice but yet two very handsome men fell in love with her and therefore gave her purpose. What a crock of fecal matter I have the pleasure of reading. Stories such as Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey have come into a popular state with not only young girls, but with older women. Strange what phenomena such as this, how could it bewitch the females in such a way to instill these feelings of desire and dreams of muscly men. It baffles that such representation of relationships can be so widely accepted.
For now I will only focus on one problematic aspect the woman protagonist and the sense of purpose when obtaining a suitable mate. This issue stretches far and wide through a large range of media. Normally I wouldn’t care. People can write whatever they want; I will still despise it with every fiber of my being. The problem is that it invades the minds of impressionable females and gives them the illusion of what the perfect relationship is or at least should be. It also teaches that without a relationship they are nothing in the eyes of themselves and other people.
What is more intriguing is the fact that the creators of such stories typically are female. I supposed some woman really want their relationship focus primarily on the guy. However other times it can be very unhealthy. When you commit yourself to one standard, one rigid opinion it could be disastrous. Like Lewis Black said we are all like snowflakes, one thing that is good for a person could kill the next.
Stuff like this makes women feel worthless until they achieve a S.O. or they will never be counted as people. It shouldn’t be this way.
And now for something we can all agree on.
“Insert the foulest language possible”
“What did you roll?”
“A 2! This proves there is no god.”
That is what my last Tuesday Dungeon Crawl Classics was like. I wasn’t the only one with crap rolls. It seemed as if every player was infected with some type of viral low rolling disease and our gamemaster was vaccinated before the game.
However though we can all agree that low dice rolls suck and they are trying to kill us, low rolls sometimes provide the tension that is needed in a game. Often this forces players to think outside the box or be even more careful. Call me an optimist and me, Tuesday night, would call a bloody filthy liar who deserves all the death and would’ve punched all the blood out of you.
Who benefits most? The immediate answer I imagine I would receive is the game master, but low dice rolls also introduce another problem. If you are an impatient person with a long term campaign like myself then prolonged battles keep players from the story you had plan for that day. The other thing is I don’t like it when my players get so frustrated there is dead silence. This means no one is having fun and the reason we do this is to have fun. Other reasons why we all hate the low rolls is pcs may die or be horribly level drained to the point of uselessness and etc.
So why am I repeating the obvious?
My favorite adventures to write are silly ones. I mean sure, a serious and terrifying adventure where the odds are against you are, great once in a while, but I love laughing more. I enjoy throwing my players in a very comedic situation. One time I created a dungeon with fours wings. The head of the wizard wing put on a sock puppet show about weapon safety, but not before he send clowns and mimes to attack them. T’was a silly game. Those were the good days where puppies and kittens fell from the sky and grandpa snorted some thumbtacks.
Every game whether it be serious or light hearted should have at least a couple of laughs during the game. I know it doesn’t make sense, but laughing is great distressing. You scoff when I say that because the act of playing an rpg is distress itself. I get real tense and followed by a bit frustrated when I’m in danger for too long.
My work week is fine for the most part but it’s still a job. It’s kind of dull and boring and I wish I was writing something. I look forward to those funny sessions with my players. It gives me something to look forward to.
I ran DnDNext games at PAX East this year and, as always, had a blast. Though one would think I got my kicks from running the Mines of Madness, which were pretty fun and I nearly TPK’d one party twice, I would have to say my favorite session was my second Danger at Darkshelf Quarry group. They were fresh faces that hadn’t had too much exposure to Dungeons and Dragons.
I ask you to picture the following scenario:
Me: Blah blah blah backstory blah ventilation shaft etc etc. What do you guys do now?
Group: *Blank faces*
Me: *Thinks* Time to work some magic.
Challenges are great and this group forced me to bring my A game. I started off with a simple search roll to find the shaft. Shaft is a funny word! From there I had them roll more skill checks and encouraged people to do their own thing.
What eventually happened was that the party went down the shaft and encountered some goblins. The commotion caused the human guards that had been stationed in the mines to come running to engage the party. However the adventurers were able to “trick” the guards into pretending that they were here to conduct business with the elf that was in charge of the mines. While one guard went to get the elf the cleric began to entertain the other guard left in charged by singing some hymns. The performance was so good that the guards began to spill the beans about what real operation was taking place in the mines. Said guard vowed that he would put in his notice and become a brother to the order.
It was then the guard, elf, and a truck load of troops came back to arrest the party. The adventurers decided on a tactical retreat. Their wizard conjured up a wall of illusionary fire to block the guards. The rogue failed his will save and proceeded to “dive through the flames” and became caught on fire while everyone (in character) looked at him weird.
Anyways the group found the spy that was sent by their boss and brought him safe back to town. That wasn’t until they fought an evil elemental cleric who summoned several elemental creatures that breathed lightning.
I love new groups.
First of all I am not stranded in Somalia on a ship besieged with pirates and then running swords through said pirates. As much as I would kind of want that to be true alas it is not. I can come up with the excuses telling you I’ve been really busy and that’s why I haven’t been writing, but that the case may be I’m not saying that’s because not true, it’s because I’ve been busy and not inspired. Being given a swift kick to the posterior by your cats (I’m pathetic) really gets a person into gear.
So I am introducing the redesigned site now with 150% more cat pictures and the occasional blog post. GM Tails (comic) will update, starting next week, on Wednesdays. I have lots of little things to say but it can only be expressed in cat pictures attached with speech bubbles. They would be drawings if I had an ounce of artistic talent. I know the saying, if you practice for ten thousand hours you will become a professional at it. 10,000hr/24hr= 416.66666 etc days. I’m afraid that I am too much of a fan of sleep to accomplish such thing, but I shall start with stick figures and work my way up. For now the comics will be kitty pictures. I love you all. My cats want to be fed. I feel their eyes on me and French Fry’s teeth on my leg.