When I was younger every adult I came across who cared about me would tell me I could accomplish anything if I worked hard at it. Those illusions fade away when you grow up. Hope is replaced with the pain of the present and dreams become the nightmares that you didn’t know existed. This happens to some degree with everyone.  Do we as a people set our young ones up for torture? Is that what my elders set me up for?

I know I’ve been off the radar for a while without any blog posts and normally I don’t write personal posts but this is tied in with gaming so I figured it was alright.  For those who need a recap about me, I start tabletop gaming in 2008 and shortly after my first few dungeons and dragons games I started to dungeon m aster.  There is something about being able to control a world and develop it that brought me back to my story writing days.  I have addiction for gaming in this medium and it has taken over my life. And you know what? I love every second of it.

Gaming has done so much for me. It has allowed me to become more social. I am no longer shy when it comes to strangers. I met my current long term boyfriend through it. My speaking skills have improved and I am able to stand up to people that I wouldn’t confront normally. It has given me so much confidence more than anything ever has.

It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I decided that I want a job that involves some kind of gaming. More to the point I want to write for a gaming company. I know that I’m creative enough to do this. The problem is with everything else going on my life I wasn’t sure how that was going to happen.

Well I have the gaming job I wanted, but things aren’t going according to plan.  I quit my job to take on this endeavor. A lot of things have happened which weren’t in my control and to be honest I’m not sure where things are going at the moment. I’m pretty positive about the future. For those who know me personally it’s rare for me to think positively.

I’m anxious. I’m twitchy. I’m nervous. I know in one way or another I’ll be okay.