My Diminishing Improv Ability
I’m not good at planning so I resigned the right to call myself an improv gamemaster with the ability to come up with crazy stuff on the fly. However that was the case in previous years, but for some reason I have lost that ability. It could be due to the fact that I was depressed for a while and during that time something happened. So what’s stopping me from becoming more of a planner? It’s the fact that I can’t focus on anything. Even as I type out this blog post I’m playing Hearthstone and watching a twitch steam. There are some of who will say, “Why not just turn off the distractions?”
I’ve tried. Nothing works. I’d simply look at the blank sheet on the screen.
Many times throughout the day I find myself wishing I could magically transform my mind with the flick of a wrist. I can’t even flick my wrist because I’m sure I’d hurt myself doing so. Medication could work. If I’m really depressed still there is the possibility it may help me. But do I really want to go down that path?
Even when I’m typing I can’t focus on a subject, can I?
My partner says my lack of ability to improv may be because I took an extended break from tabletop. He reasons my mind is still adjusting. It’s either that or the fact that I’m older. He told me that when he was younger he could do it well and his improv ability is still good, but not where it used to be.
Weird to see myself already worried going senile at the age of 29.
The players I’ve had in the past got into wild situations and their ability to come up with ways to get themselves out of said situations always amazed me. Perhaps that is what I need to do. I should go back to being a player for a while and see how well my improv skills do for me as a player as opposed to a game master.
Meh
It could be just prolonged stress leading to a foggy brain. I’ve been through it too. Still coming out on the other end. Though some of my foggy brain is directly tied to illness as well. But you how best to relieve your stress so I can’t offer any useful advice there. Best of luck!
I turned 31 this year, and it’s amazing how much I’ve lost over the past few years. I used to be able to spell any word, type fast and correct and I could think up an NPC name in zero point one seconds flat. Now my typing is all over the place and if someone sideswipes me with “Oh, hello Mr Shopkeeper, what’s your name?” I stare at them like a deer in a headlight and make meep noises.
I’ve considered getting like 30 generic names tattooed in my inner arm just so I can confidently “come up with” names on the fly. Though that probably isn’t a good idea?
So, I feel your pain. The brain ages quicker than I ever expected and youth seems so near, yet so far!
That being said, the brain is a muscle, and if you use it, you can usually get it back. I recently got back into GMing every single week, and things are getting easier again. Push your limits, as GM or player, and hopefully you’ll be back on top 🙂
GMing is art, and every artist who stops their trade for a while gets hit with a mix of rust and blank-page-syndrome.
You just gotta power through it. It starts off as a slog and everything is frustrating and nothing works. Then something finally kinda sorta works, which finally gets you motivated a little, then something almost works as intended, and then finally you’re back in the game.
Takes about a month of thinking a little about it every day at our age.
I know, it sucks.
Perhaps, you need some specific stimulus. I ve been in such a place before, where i kinda lost my way as a GM, since didnt believe that my game could produce the result i wanted… alias, make people have fun while having fun.
So i kinda re-booted myself, its like going back to the basics, playing with other GM, or perhaps take some new players and see how they play out old game stories, new players are surprisingly full of new ideas, as long as you can let them go somewhere with the story without begin influenced by the “old ways”, you might find its surprisingly fresh, perhaps, you might find something within their play.
In time, not only i returned to my own game “rhythm” but also found ways to improve my level as a GM as a whole.
Anyway, my advice : do not believe that you are any less than before, Any GM with years worth of geekdom has enjoyed it to the bone, and will sooner or later find his/her fantasy once again beating hard.
Good luck!